Over the past year, I’ve experienced some of the hardest times in my life thus far. I could spend paragraphs and paragraphs explaining some of the deep hurt I’ve felt, the anxiety, the lack of self esteem, the feelings of inadequacy. Most of which were seeds planted in me long ago, that I never took the time to deal with. I did everything I could to shove them down, completely out of mind. It honestly hasn’t been until more recently that I decided to start taking the necessary steps to actually heal.
For me, 23 is about healing, peace and stepping into my purpose. So I wanted to share a couple things I’ve learned!
Allow God.
When it comes to just about everything, I’m a planner. I prefer to know what’s next. I like to have the details ironed out. I want to know when, where, and how. But that’s just not how God works. I’m sure most of you would agree, this past year has been nothing that anyone planned. I found myself really disappointed, upset, and confused at all the changes taking place. God reminds me constantly that I’m not in control, and sometimes it’s in ways that aren’t the most comfortable. I had to ask myself “How can you say you want God to move in your life, but you’re not giving him the space to do so?” Most of the time, we’re anxious because we’re trusting in ourselves or other people to do things that God wants to show himself in. Joshua 1:9 NLT reads, “This is my command – be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Be Your Authentic Self.
My whole life, I’ve been a selfless person. I love to see others full of joy, succeeding, and just content. When it comes to me being able to contribute to that for someone, there’s rarely hesitation. In Matthew 7:12, God tells us “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Pretty simple, right? Not exactly. What took me a while to understand is: Just because you do what you would want done to you in return, doesn’t mean they WILL do to you what you’ve done to them. And that’s okay! If I’m quite honest, there’s been moments where I question God about why He made me the way that I am. Moments where I wanted to transform into someone who doesn’t even worry or care about others in the way that I do. Trying to not be who I am, is when I’ve been the most miserable. I’ve had to grow into loving who I am. While I often joke about my heart being too big, and it landing me in some hurt places sometimes, God created me this way for a reason. Instead of asking God “Why?”, I ask Him to “Show Me”. Show me exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. Show me how to use myself in a way that fulfills my purpose in Your Kingdom.
Psalm 23
“God, my shepherd!
I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.
Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I’m not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
makes me feel secure.
You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.
Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.”
Here’s to another amazing year. Filled with lessons, and blessings. Can’t wait to share with you all!
